Desperately
Life in the Inferno
I’ve been so bad, me siento como polvo.
De un momento a otro, salgo de ser héroe a ser monstruo,
Pero no tengo el poder de monstruo ni el propósito de ser héroe.
The ache in my heart is overflowing,
I drip regret from my eyes, waiting for you,
Silently, you remain like obsidian and perhaps immovable,
My purpose breaks onto your glassy surface;
Can you feel the heat of my movement?
I pray a thousand times you feel this ardor,
I pray two thousand times you taste this friendship,
I pray four thousand times you feel the love that crushes me into
the dirt.
Life in the Inferno
This series of poems was written during a period of change in my life. They are not happy poems, but they are honest. My stories are like well-thought-out arguments, my poems like the flem that flies from between my gnashing teeth or snot from my nose as I cry in joy.
“I’ve been so bad, me siento como polvo.” I think the bilingual delivery is the right choice here. I feel like dust wouldn’t hit the same. I’m not an expert but in this context it felt more like being used and maybe feeling degraded? Either way it’s a great piece. The only word that felt out of place is friendship… it felt odd juxtaposed with love.. or does this represent a transcendent relationship?
There’s a lot to love about this one. I wish I had a better grasp of the Spanish language. Some feelings can’t be expressed in any one language.